At His Mercy: The True Story of a Victim's Journey Through Clergy Sexual Misconduct

Nonfiction, Religion & Spirituality, Theology, Ethics
Cover of the book At His Mercy: The True Story of a Victim's Journey Through Clergy Sexual Misconduct by Elizabeth Myer, Elizabeth Myer
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Author: Elizabeth Myer ISBN: 9781370547333
Publisher: Elizabeth Myer Publication: July 1, 2017
Imprint: Smashwords Edition Language: English
Author: Elizabeth Myer
ISBN: 9781370547333
Publisher: Elizabeth Myer
Publication: July 1, 2017
Imprint: Smashwords Edition
Language: English

As I grew in my new position as a youth ministry leader, I soon found myself embroiled in a seductive, tumultuous relationship with my pastor. He was a charismatic bad boy and I was an insecure newlywed who felt unappreciated and unfulfilled at home. The sexual tension between us would quickly ramp up before being dialed back – always on his terms – inching ever closer to the point of no return. Over the course of nearly two years, I was completely at his mercy, driven through the euphoric highs and the devastating lows of his emotional rollercoaster until we even-tually went as far as we could possibly go.

But as our trysts became more sporadic and emotionally damaging, I sought professional advice. Suddenly, everything came into perspective – I was a victim of clergy sexual misconduct, the sinister and subtle power dynamic that gives religious leaders untold psychological control over their flock. I was left torn, unsure if I should report the pastor or persist with the relationship, wondering if what we shared was indeed true love.

This memoir is a raw, narrative portrayal of the true emotions and events that led me down such a dark path that felt so right in the moment. My intent is for others who have experienced similar abuse – either in the Church or elsewhere – to find in my story the affirmation, hope, and strength to acknowledge the true nature of abusive power dynamics. This is a story of seduction, shame, revelation, and the long, uncertain road to recovery.

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As I grew in my new position as a youth ministry leader, I soon found myself embroiled in a seductive, tumultuous relationship with my pastor. He was a charismatic bad boy and I was an insecure newlywed who felt unappreciated and unfulfilled at home. The sexual tension between us would quickly ramp up before being dialed back – always on his terms – inching ever closer to the point of no return. Over the course of nearly two years, I was completely at his mercy, driven through the euphoric highs and the devastating lows of his emotional rollercoaster until we even-tually went as far as we could possibly go.

But as our trysts became more sporadic and emotionally damaging, I sought professional advice. Suddenly, everything came into perspective – I was a victim of clergy sexual misconduct, the sinister and subtle power dynamic that gives religious leaders untold psychological control over their flock. I was left torn, unsure if I should report the pastor or persist with the relationship, wondering if what we shared was indeed true love.

This memoir is a raw, narrative portrayal of the true emotions and events that led me down such a dark path that felt so right in the moment. My intent is for others who have experienced similar abuse – either in the Church or elsewhere – to find in my story the affirmation, hope, and strength to acknowledge the true nature of abusive power dynamics. This is a story of seduction, shame, revelation, and the long, uncertain road to recovery.

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