Dan W Griffin: 3 books

'If you have ever wondered what it would be like to crash a fairground ride, upset the Russian mob, humiliate yourself before millions of people on national television, cause thousands of pounds' damage to a McDonalds restaurant, be Santa Claus, 'accidentally' commit an armed robbery, be pursued by...

I once thought it would be fun to organise a hugely-exciting event with worldwide appeal. An extremely angry Hollywood movie producer did not want me to... and then a hitman arrived at my flat.

Welcome to the second piece of the jigsaw of the mangled sludge of words and stuff that will eventually curdle and congeal into the boondoggle of the memoir, No stranger to the P45. This is actually a prequel to the first mini-book, 'A hitman, a chopstick and a darlek' and describes my experience...