Ducktown

Fiction & Literature, Humorous
Cover of the book Ducktown by Edward Yankie, Edward Yankie
View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart
Author: Edward Yankie ISBN: 9780992020309
Publisher: Edward Yankie Publication: July 3, 2013
Imprint: Language: English
Author: Edward Yankie
ISBN: 9780992020309
Publisher: Edward Yankie
Publication: July 3, 2013
Imprint:
Language: English

A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head.  Bartender says, "Can I help you?"  Ducks says, "Yeah, can you get this guy off my ass?"  That's the legend, anyway, but the facts, and what happened later, are more complicated.  I ought to know because I'm that duck-- Mr. Mister Odysseus Duck, and yes that's two misters.  The bartender is a real loser named Jake Singleton, and the first part of the book, They Called Him Mister, is narrated by him.  He spends his whole life slicing limes to put into bottles of Coronas and acting like a real serving wench.  I kick his ass over and over to teach him a profound Zen lesson, which I hope he profits from, but he never learns.  He thinks he's hot shit on a silver platter, but he's really cold boogers on a paper plate.  The second part of the book, Bernie, Jake, and Mister Go To Town, is narrated by Bernie Rosenbaum, accountant turned performance artist, and he's the guy who's head I ride around on.  They compare him to Buster Keaton in the Times, but I know for a fact he's not funny.  And if you think I'm gonna give away any plot points about that, gentle reader, you can go sit on a rocket and do twirls. But I'll give you a hint.  Someone who's really asking for it has something bad happen to him in a comedic way.  The third part of the book, My Extraordinary Rendition, is narrated by me, and that's of course the most ingenious part of the book.  It's about how I triumph as the world's best insult comic and champion of the game of pool.  And how I own any town I'm in, and how every town is in that sense Ducktown.  What is the nature of reality, you may ask, after reading this book.  I'm growing tired of you, gentle reader, and I haven't even met you yet!

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head.  Bartender says, "Can I help you?"  Ducks says, "Yeah, can you get this guy off my ass?"  That's the legend, anyway, but the facts, and what happened later, are more complicated.  I ought to know because I'm that duck-- Mr. Mister Odysseus Duck, and yes that's two misters.  The bartender is a real loser named Jake Singleton, and the first part of the book, They Called Him Mister, is narrated by him.  He spends his whole life slicing limes to put into bottles of Coronas and acting like a real serving wench.  I kick his ass over and over to teach him a profound Zen lesson, which I hope he profits from, but he never learns.  He thinks he's hot shit on a silver platter, but he's really cold boogers on a paper plate.  The second part of the book, Bernie, Jake, and Mister Go To Town, is narrated by Bernie Rosenbaum, accountant turned performance artist, and he's the guy who's head I ride around on.  They compare him to Buster Keaton in the Times, but I know for a fact he's not funny.  And if you think I'm gonna give away any plot points about that, gentle reader, you can go sit on a rocket and do twirls. But I'll give you a hint.  Someone who's really asking for it has something bad happen to him in a comedic way.  The third part of the book, My Extraordinary Rendition, is narrated by me, and that's of course the most ingenious part of the book.  It's about how I triumph as the world's best insult comic and champion of the game of pool.  And how I own any town I'm in, and how every town is in that sense Ducktown.  What is the nature of reality, you may ask, after reading this book.  I'm growing tired of you, gentle reader, and I haven't even met you yet!

More books from Humorous

Cover of the book Bottling Farts, Inc. - Episode 5: Discombobulated by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book Ein jeder lebt's: Aus dem Leben einsamer Helden by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book In Search of the Unknown by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book A Fly in the Microwave... by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book The Man Who Couldn't Stop Thinking: A Novel by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book Fields' Guide to Voodoo by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book The Young Widower's Handbook by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book Epiphany by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book Käsebier Takes Berlin by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book Spectrum by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book The Devs Must Be Crazy by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book Toto Fouinard - L'étrange affaire du Père Lachaise by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book Investigation by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book Common Nonsense by Edward Yankie
Cover of the book All This Has Nothing To Do With Me by Edward Yankie
We use our own "cookies" and third party cookies to improve services and to see statistical information. By using this website, you agree to our Privacy Policy