Mascara Saturday

A Novel

Fiction & Literature, Humorous
Cover of the book Mascara Saturday by Carol Conn, Park Press International
View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart
Author: Carol Conn ISBN: 9780985779009
Publisher: Park Press International Publication: September 22, 2012
Imprint: Language: English
Author: Carol Conn
ISBN: 9780985779009
Publisher: Park Press International
Publication: September 22, 2012
Imprint:
Language: English
Rachel Holtner is your average New Yorker whose life took a strange turn. It started out as just another winter Saturday. A leisurely morning abed with husband and coffee, a quick stop at Bloomingdale's, and then the movies. What could go wrong? By day's end, Rachel Holtner's been arrested for felonious assault and inciting a riot. She's been hospitalized for an acute allergy attack (by perfume). As if that weren't enough, Rachel soon discovers she's suffering from a previously unknown genetic disease: Shopping Impairment Syndrome (S.I.S.). The symptoms are claustrophobia, impatience and an inability to tolerate delays or inefficiencies. Unfortunately, this Disease du Jour manifests most commonly in department stores and shopping malls, hence the name. Its primary victims: affluent, educated, pre-menopausal women in their prime earning and spending years. S.I.S. is the medical creation of Dr. Now (a.k.a. David Halberman, M.D.), a brilliant opportunist who's hell bent on fame and fortune. Dr. Now uses his findings to terrify the Retail Federation of America (i.e. every department store across the country) as it scrambles to protect market share. The notion of women going berserk in department stores is guaranteed to generate ulcers and sleepless nights for retail executives. Maximizing their bottom line fears of an S.I.S. epidemic, Dr. Now extorts millions of dollars in research grants to stem this perfidious affliction. In Rachel, he's found the prototypical Shopper Zero. Along with six other women arrested on the day dubbed by the press as Mascara Saturday, Rachel is forced to attend Dr. Now's lame recovery program for impaired shoppers. (“My name is Rachel, and I hate to shop.”) But Dr. Now soon finds that uppity women are not nearly as docile or cooperative as laboratory animals. His prescription for their recovery proves to be the formula for his own downfall. Outside his clinic, the tabloids have a field day with Rachel’s depressingly normal life. Long lost acquaintances and friends emerge to give Rachel a far more scandalous history than she could have possibly lived. Her new found celebrity proves irresistible to spurned boyfriends searching for their 15 minutes of fame by association. They’re not the only ones who want a piece of Shopper Zero. Muscling in on Rachel’s criminal and civil travails is the legendary litigator Catherine “Madcat” Bingleigh, a lawyer who proves as manipulative and narcissistic as Dr. Now. Can Rachel and the rest of the Shopping Seven finesse a victory over Dr. Now? Is there life after tabloids? The answers to these and other metaphysical questions are revealed in Carol Conn’s novel, MASCARA SATURDAY.
View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart
Rachel Holtner is your average New Yorker whose life took a strange turn. It started out as just another winter Saturday. A leisurely morning abed with husband and coffee, a quick stop at Bloomingdale's, and then the movies. What could go wrong? By day's end, Rachel Holtner's been arrested for felonious assault and inciting a riot. She's been hospitalized for an acute allergy attack (by perfume). As if that weren't enough, Rachel soon discovers she's suffering from a previously unknown genetic disease: Shopping Impairment Syndrome (S.I.S.). The symptoms are claustrophobia, impatience and an inability to tolerate delays or inefficiencies. Unfortunately, this Disease du Jour manifests most commonly in department stores and shopping malls, hence the name. Its primary victims: affluent, educated, pre-menopausal women in their prime earning and spending years. S.I.S. is the medical creation of Dr. Now (a.k.a. David Halberman, M.D.), a brilliant opportunist who's hell bent on fame and fortune. Dr. Now uses his findings to terrify the Retail Federation of America (i.e. every department store across the country) as it scrambles to protect market share. The notion of women going berserk in department stores is guaranteed to generate ulcers and sleepless nights for retail executives. Maximizing their bottom line fears of an S.I.S. epidemic, Dr. Now extorts millions of dollars in research grants to stem this perfidious affliction. In Rachel, he's found the prototypical Shopper Zero. Along with six other women arrested on the day dubbed by the press as Mascara Saturday, Rachel is forced to attend Dr. Now's lame recovery program for impaired shoppers. (“My name is Rachel, and I hate to shop.”) But Dr. Now soon finds that uppity women are not nearly as docile or cooperative as laboratory animals. His prescription for their recovery proves to be the formula for his own downfall. Outside his clinic, the tabloids have a field day with Rachel’s depressingly normal life. Long lost acquaintances and friends emerge to give Rachel a far more scandalous history than she could have possibly lived. Her new found celebrity proves irresistible to spurned boyfriends searching for their 15 minutes of fame by association. They’re not the only ones who want a piece of Shopper Zero. Muscling in on Rachel’s criminal and civil travails is the legendary litigator Catherine “Madcat” Bingleigh, a lawyer who proves as manipulative and narcissistic as Dr. Now. Can Rachel and the rest of the Shopping Seven finesse a victory over Dr. Now? Is there life after tabloids? The answers to these and other metaphysical questions are revealed in Carol Conn’s novel, MASCARA SATURDAY.

More books from Humorous

Cover of the book Johnny Plutonium and Other Survival Stories: Humanity as an Endangered Species by Carol Conn
Cover of the book Death Comes to Suburbia (Book 2 Molly Masters Mysteries) by Carol Conn
Cover of the book New Cardiff by Carol Conn
Cover of the book Lost in Glory by Carol Conn
Cover of the book Halloween Hullabaloo by Carol Conn
Cover of the book Poker, Prayer, and Garden Wars by Carol Conn
Cover of the book The Spectacular Simon Burchwood by Carol Conn
Cover of the book Wanderlost 3: More Shots of Literary Tequila for the Restless Soul by Carol Conn
Cover of the book Dropped Connection by Carol Conn
Cover of the book Besoin d'un chum... pis ça presse ! by Carol Conn
Cover of the book Bluebonnets For Gargoyles by Carol Conn
Cover of the book U.G.L.Y. by Carol Conn
Cover of the book 50for30 Series Two by Carol Conn
Cover of the book Verflixte Liebe! Turbulenter, spritziger Liebesroman - Liebe, Leidenschaft und Eifersucht... by Carol Conn
Cover of the book Voulez-vous tuer avec moi ? by Carol Conn
We use our own "cookies" and third party cookies to improve services and to see statistical information. By using this website, you agree to our Privacy Policy