Real Randy Rose
Nonfiction, Health & Well Being, Health, Fiction & Literature, Short Stories, Romance
| Author: | Rose Maru | ISBN: | 9781370083855 |
| Publisher: | Rose Maru | Publication: | January 7, 2017 |
| Imprint: | Smashwords Edition | Language: | English |
| Author: | Rose Maru |
| ISBN: | 9781370083855 |
| Publisher: | Rose Maru |
| Publication: | January 7, 2017 |
| Imprint: | Smashwords Edition |
| Language: | English |
An unfortunate snippy comment and I find myself facing several days reading about a past I apparently never knew about: my husband's. Damn - and I thought I was messed up.
Facing my Hypoactive Sexual Desire Syndrome / Disorder (HSDS/HSDD), I've trampled upon new ground in my first tentative steps in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) meets Sensate Focus (FUBAR) after face-planting my "Happy Go Lucky" author interview with far too many, "Gosh! Good question! Uh, I don't know." Which yielded my, "Well, if you think it's so flaming easy, *you* answer the questions, Randal!"
Seeing someone else's past laying bare upon my feet, remarkably enough, I was far less pissed than I expected. I found myself struggling to grasp some of the details (mostly raunchy crap - like, "OMG! You dated someone with a child?!" - or worse, "You did *what* during school hours? Holy f*ck!") and I took pen-to-paper (or electrons-to-screen) to work things out: in story form.
So I grabbed his... wait, poor choice of words...
So I dropped myself into the role opposite his words and tales, to see what it might've been like living through the women in his life. Then, while I was on a roll, I kicked in a couple tales of my own, since I finished rounding out his journey from first kiss to married old guy (I might point out, married old guy hitched to quite a wonderful gal... just sayin' (you have got to be kidding - I had to keep deleting additional adjectives my suck-up husband kept inserting into my work file... so I didn't sound conceited; but a-hole kept putting in, "... hitched to a beautiful, warm, and wonderful gal" - fine, his sounded better, but, dammit, I'm writing this, so it would sound sort of humble-brag-like, sweetie - sorry).)
Dang it, now he has me all flustered (or as I got used to saying in one of the roles, "You're getting me all hot and bothered, dammit!" - which leaves me wondering if I really want a neck that sensitive or not). What was I doing? Oh, yes, description...
This collection runs the entire cross-country gambit, from playground kiss to impending wedded bliss:
Hide and Go Kiss (First Kiss - you'll like it... Or else.)
HS TA TA (Second base? During school hours?!)
Dance Crash and Burn (Beware your best friend's butt)
Freshman Fail (Boobs 'n Booze - a bad combination)
Daddy Dearest (Sometimes life just gets in the way)
Fair Thee Well (The dance that never was)
Cougar (Before Cougars were cool)
You Can Sleep With Me (Proof he deserves me)
Winner (Welcome to Rosie's World)
Victory Lap (Hello, World! I have to go pee again.)
*Warning: This collective batch of "Based Upon True Stories" is not intended for those under the age of consent (18 years in the USA). And a bigger warning: this isn't one of my explicit collections of fiction. So if you're looking for one-handed reads and explicit prose, check out almost any of my other books, because this one isn't it!
Although if you're looking for a raw, open, and completely honest appraisal of being in the boots whose toes are touching your future significant other, it does make for some pretty interesting reading.
Important Note: Oh, hey, I just realized this could potentially be your first time reading anything written by me. Hi! I'm Rose. That picture you see on the cover of my book? That's me - like all the others - taken by my husband of many moons, Randal. Get it? I mean, the title. It's all real stories from Randy's past, but I, Rose, am the one reliving them opposite my hubby. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope you enjoy the trip through his, my, and our past together as much as I did. In honor of all those hours in class: "Any material not adequately covered during lecture will more than adequately be covered on the test." (Or in my case, in the Truth and Consequences section of the book - which in this collection, occasionally got pretty extensive.)
(Yeah, I know - those last three minutes before the bell rings are just torture...)
An unfortunate snippy comment and I find myself facing several days reading about a past I apparently never knew about: my husband's. Damn - and I thought I was messed up.
Facing my Hypoactive Sexual Desire Syndrome / Disorder (HSDS/HSDD), I've trampled upon new ground in my first tentative steps in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) meets Sensate Focus (FUBAR) after face-planting my "Happy Go Lucky" author interview with far too many, "Gosh! Good question! Uh, I don't know." Which yielded my, "Well, if you think it's so flaming easy, *you* answer the questions, Randal!"
Seeing someone else's past laying bare upon my feet, remarkably enough, I was far less pissed than I expected. I found myself struggling to grasp some of the details (mostly raunchy crap - like, "OMG! You dated someone with a child?!" - or worse, "You did *what* during school hours? Holy f*ck!") and I took pen-to-paper (or electrons-to-screen) to work things out: in story form.
So I grabbed his... wait, poor choice of words...
So I dropped myself into the role opposite his words and tales, to see what it might've been like living through the women in his life. Then, while I was on a roll, I kicked in a couple tales of my own, since I finished rounding out his journey from first kiss to married old guy (I might point out, married old guy hitched to quite a wonderful gal... just sayin' (you have got to be kidding - I had to keep deleting additional adjectives my suck-up husband kept inserting into my work file... so I didn't sound conceited; but a-hole kept putting in, "... hitched to a beautiful, warm, and wonderful gal" - fine, his sounded better, but, dammit, I'm writing this, so it would sound sort of humble-brag-like, sweetie - sorry).)
Dang it, now he has me all flustered (or as I got used to saying in one of the roles, "You're getting me all hot and bothered, dammit!" - which leaves me wondering if I really want a neck that sensitive or not). What was I doing? Oh, yes, description...
This collection runs the entire cross-country gambit, from playground kiss to impending wedded bliss:
Hide and Go Kiss (First Kiss - you'll like it... Or else.)
HS TA TA (Second base? During school hours?!)
Dance Crash and Burn (Beware your best friend's butt)
Freshman Fail (Boobs 'n Booze - a bad combination)
Daddy Dearest (Sometimes life just gets in the way)
Fair Thee Well (The dance that never was)
Cougar (Before Cougars were cool)
You Can Sleep With Me (Proof he deserves me)
Winner (Welcome to Rosie's World)
Victory Lap (Hello, World! I have to go pee again.)
*Warning: This collective batch of "Based Upon True Stories" is not intended for those under the age of consent (18 years in the USA). And a bigger warning: this isn't one of my explicit collections of fiction. So if you're looking for one-handed reads and explicit prose, check out almost any of my other books, because this one isn't it!
Although if you're looking for a raw, open, and completely honest appraisal of being in the boots whose toes are touching your future significant other, it does make for some pretty interesting reading.
Important Note: Oh, hey, I just realized this could potentially be your first time reading anything written by me. Hi! I'm Rose. That picture you see on the cover of my book? That's me - like all the others - taken by my husband of many moons, Randal. Get it? I mean, the title. It's all real stories from Randy's past, but I, Rose, am the one reliving them opposite my hubby. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I hope you enjoy the trip through his, my, and our past together as much as I did. In honor of all those hours in class: "Any material not adequately covered during lecture will more than adequately be covered on the test." (Or in my case, in the Truth and Consequences section of the book - which in this collection, occasionally got pretty extensive.)
(Yeah, I know - those last three minutes before the bell rings are just torture...)
