Retirement Park Redo

Nonfiction, Entertainment, Humour & Comedy, General Humour
Cover of the book Retirement Park Redo by Patrick Harding, Patrick Harding
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Author: Patrick Harding ISBN: 9781310237089
Publisher: Patrick Harding Publication: May 30, 2016
Imprint: Smashwords Edition Language: English
Author: Patrick Harding
ISBN: 9781310237089
Publisher: Patrick Harding
Publication: May 30, 2016
Imprint: Smashwords Edition
Language: English

Not everybody got to graduate high school. Some of us dropped out to go to work, others got pregnant, or fought a war. A few of us might have been expelled for mowing obscenities into the school’s front lawn concerning the Principal and his secretary. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

For some of us high school was the worst time in our life. Our shortcomings were exposed during gym showers, so we got shoved in our locker for the weekend, and had to experience the Senior Prom from there! Of course, this could never have happened to future writers of e-books.

But it’s never too late to brush up on our Shakespeare just to try to figure out what he was thinking, with Juliet being fourteen and all. Or perhaps we feel we missed out, not knowing trigonometry. If only we could give high school a second try.

And for those of us who graduated and loved it, wouldn’t it be great to relive it all, fifty years later? And for those adolescent ugly ducklings who never fitted in, wouldn’t it do us good to relive it as a mature swan?

Fortunately, a Retirement Park is the perfect venue for this. In Management we already have a Principal and Vice Principal. In our Home Owners Association, we already elect a Student’s Council. We already have an elite bunch of cool kids, volunteering for everything - dinner clubs, blood drives, fashion shows. We already have line dancing cheerleaders. We already have jocks playing golf and pickle ball, getting all the girls at Happy Hour, and taking them to Inspiration Point in their souped-up golf carts.

And believe it or not, some parks hold an annual Seniors Prom!

Yes, retirement parks are giving us a chance at a do-over, whether we graduated or not. And we don’t even have to go to class! That’s an improvement.

But there are many more potential improvements that would make the experience even better. That’s what this is all about, making our second kick at the can more memorable than the first. And all it takes is a few baby steps.

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Not everybody got to graduate high school. Some of us dropped out to go to work, others got pregnant, or fought a war. A few of us might have been expelled for mowing obscenities into the school’s front lawn concerning the Principal and his secretary. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

For some of us high school was the worst time in our life. Our shortcomings were exposed during gym showers, so we got shoved in our locker for the weekend, and had to experience the Senior Prom from there! Of course, this could never have happened to future writers of e-books.

But it’s never too late to brush up on our Shakespeare just to try to figure out what he was thinking, with Juliet being fourteen and all. Or perhaps we feel we missed out, not knowing trigonometry. If only we could give high school a second try.

And for those of us who graduated and loved it, wouldn’t it be great to relive it all, fifty years later? And for those adolescent ugly ducklings who never fitted in, wouldn’t it do us good to relive it as a mature swan?

Fortunately, a Retirement Park is the perfect venue for this. In Management we already have a Principal and Vice Principal. In our Home Owners Association, we already elect a Student’s Council. We already have an elite bunch of cool kids, volunteering for everything - dinner clubs, blood drives, fashion shows. We already have line dancing cheerleaders. We already have jocks playing golf and pickle ball, getting all the girls at Happy Hour, and taking them to Inspiration Point in their souped-up golf carts.

And believe it or not, some parks hold an annual Seniors Prom!

Yes, retirement parks are giving us a chance at a do-over, whether we graduated or not. And we don’t even have to go to class! That’s an improvement.

But there are many more potential improvements that would make the experience even better. That’s what this is all about, making our second kick at the can more memorable than the first. And all it takes is a few baby steps.

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