The Funniest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded

Nonfiction, Reference & Language, Reference, Quotations
Cover of the book The Funniest Things Ever Said, New and Expanded by , Lyons Press
View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart
Author: ISBN: 9781493041206
Publisher: Lyons Press Publication: September 1, 2019
Imprint: Lyons Press Language: English
Author:
ISBN: 9781493041206
Publisher: Lyons Press
Publication: September 1, 2019
Imprint: Lyons Press
Language: English

Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue—from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said:

“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”—Rita Rudner

“I don’t know if it’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.”—Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe

“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.”—Malcolm Forbes

“The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’”—Bill Maher

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue—from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said:

“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”—Rita Rudner

“I don’t know if it’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.”—Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe

“I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.”—Malcolm Forbes

“The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’”—Bill Maher

More books from Lyons Press

Cover of the book U.S. Army Counterinsurgency Warrior Handbook by
Cover of the book Complete Tracker by
Cover of the book Waters Far and Near by
Cover of the book Search and Rescue Rocky Mountains by
Cover of the book The Art of the Con by
Cover of the book Dogs I Have Met by
Cover of the book Going Home Again by
Cover of the book Haunted Baseball by
Cover of the book The Book of Donkeys by
Cover of the book Beyond Winning by
Cover of the book Greatest Escapes of World War II by
Cover of the book Golfer's eBook Gift Set by
Cover of the book The Next Millionaire Next Door by
Cover of the book Trout Unlimited's Guide to America's 100 Best Trout Streams, Updated and Revised by
Cover of the book The Invisibles by
We use our own "cookies" and third party cookies to improve services and to see statistical information. By using this website, you agree to our Privacy Policy