Xenophobe's Guide to the Scots

Nonfiction, Entertainment, Humour & Comedy, General Humour
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Scots by David Ross, Oval Books
View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart
Author: David Ross ISBN: 9781908120816
Publisher: Oval Books Publication: December 1, 2008
Imprint: Oval Books Language: English
Author: David Ross
ISBN: 9781908120816
Publisher: Oval Books
Publication: December 1, 2008
Imprint: Oval Books
Language: English

Two adjectives from their own form of the English language haunt the Scots. One is 'pawky', the other is 'dour'. The pawky Scot is a person with a droll grin and a wisecrack to accompany it. The dour Scot is a person with a grim expression, a grim mind, and a grim turn of phrase to accompany it. It is a special Scottish talent to combine both characteristics within the same person. Xenophobia is an irrational fear of foreigners, probably justified, always understandable. Xenophobe's Guides—an irreverent look at the beliefs and foibles of nations, almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

 

Innate instincts

A Scotsman likes to feel that, almost by instinct, he could guddle a trout (palm it out of the water) or gralloch a deer (disembowel it with his knife), even if he spends his day driving a bus or designing software.

 

A kilty cover-up

If the Scots were to shed their seriousness, they would be noisier than the Neapolitans and wilder than the dancing Dervishes. Their reserve is not a defense against the rest of the world: it is a protective cover, like the lid of a nuclear reactor.

 

Rob joy

Calvinism is still deeply ingrained in the Scottish soul. A Scottish poet, overcome by the joy of sunshine and blue sky, once cried out what a fine day it was. The woman to whom he spoke replied, “We'll pay for it, we'll pay for it.”

 

Cunning and clever

The Scots respect cleverness and like to feel that they possess plenty of it themselves. In Scotland there is nothing wrong with being clever, so long as you show it by words or actions, rather than by bragging. You don't have to hide it. To say of someone that “he has a good conceit of himself” is neither praise nor blame, just a statement of fact.

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

Two adjectives from their own form of the English language haunt the Scots. One is 'pawky', the other is 'dour'. The pawky Scot is a person with a droll grin and a wisecrack to accompany it. The dour Scot is a person with a grim expression, a grim mind, and a grim turn of phrase to accompany it. It is a special Scottish talent to combine both characteristics within the same person. Xenophobia is an irrational fear of foreigners, probably justified, always understandable. Xenophobe's Guides—an irreverent look at the beliefs and foibles of nations, almost guaranteed to cure Xenophobia.

 

Innate instincts

A Scotsman likes to feel that, almost by instinct, he could guddle a trout (palm it out of the water) or gralloch a deer (disembowel it with his knife), even if he spends his day driving a bus or designing software.

 

A kilty cover-up

If the Scots were to shed their seriousness, they would be noisier than the Neapolitans and wilder than the dancing Dervishes. Their reserve is not a defense against the rest of the world: it is a protective cover, like the lid of a nuclear reactor.

 

Rob joy

Calvinism is still deeply ingrained in the Scottish soul. A Scottish poet, overcome by the joy of sunshine and blue sky, once cried out what a fine day it was. The woman to whom he spoke replied, “We'll pay for it, we'll pay for it.”

 

Cunning and clever

The Scots respect cleverness and like to feel that they possess plenty of it themselves. In Scotland there is nothing wrong with being clever, so long as you show it by words or actions, rather than by bragging. You don't have to hide it. To say of someone that “he has a good conceit of himself” is neither praise nor blame, just a statement of fact.

More books from Oval Books

Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Italians by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Belgians by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the French by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Poles by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Spanish by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Dutch by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Kiwis by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Germans by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Icelanders by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Canadians by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Swedes by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the English by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Irish by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Czechs by David Ross
Cover of the book Xenophobe's Guide to the Welsh by David Ross
We use our own "cookies" and third party cookies to improve services and to see statistical information. By using this website, you agree to our Privacy Policy