You Are Old

Sobering Affirmations for Your Rapidly Disappearing Life

Nonfiction, Family & Relationships, Aging, Entertainment, Humour & Comedy, General Humour
Cover of the book You Are Old by Scott Dikkers, Andrews McMeel Publishing
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Author: Scott Dikkers ISBN: 9781449418403
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing Publication: August 7, 2012
Imprint: Andrews McMeel Publishing Language: English
Author: Scott Dikkers
ISBN: 9781449418403
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Publication: August 7, 2012
Imprint: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Language: English

Did you suddenly wake up and realize you are old? How did this happen? Where did all your youthful health, energy, and beauty go? And what can you do to recapture it and revitalize your life? Nothing. You're old.

From the New York Times best-selling authors of You Are Worthless and Just Give Up comes an even less inspiring book for those past their prime. One of Scott Dikker's most hilarious creations, Dr. Oswalt T. Pratt is a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor barely holding on to his rapidly retreating 40s. And he's out of shape, too. So he knows the pain of growing old. In You Are Old, he offers steaming buckets of wisdom crafted especially for those wracked with memory loss and other aged infirmities.

* Dating after 40: good luck with that.

* Ear hair: how did you get so much of it?

* You're past your prime. Your best days are behind you. You're over the hill. Your body doesn't bounce back like it used to. It's starting to hurt a lot. Your back hurts, your neck hurts. Your knees hurt. You're arthritic. You have rheumatoid arthritis, chronic pain syndrome, Bursitis, shingles, hives, cataracts and ringworm. You're starting to sag, wrinkle, dry out and develop spots.

* It's your choice: learn to navigate our serpentine, Rube Goldbergian healthcare system, or just give up and die.

* Today is the first day of the end of your life.

View on Amazon View on AbeBooks View on Kobo View on B.Depository View on eBay View on Walmart

Did you suddenly wake up and realize you are old? How did this happen? Where did all your youthful health, energy, and beauty go? And what can you do to recapture it and revitalize your life? Nothing. You're old.

From the New York Times best-selling authors of You Are Worthless and Just Give Up comes an even less inspiring book for those past their prime. One of Scott Dikker's most hilarious creations, Dr. Oswalt T. Pratt is a sad and seriously inept marriage and family counselor barely holding on to his rapidly retreating 40s. And he's out of shape, too. So he knows the pain of growing old. In You Are Old, he offers steaming buckets of wisdom crafted especially for those wracked with memory loss and other aged infirmities.

* Dating after 40: good luck with that.

* Ear hair: how did you get so much of it?

* You're past your prime. Your best days are behind you. You're over the hill. Your body doesn't bounce back like it used to. It's starting to hurt a lot. Your back hurts, your neck hurts. Your knees hurt. You're arthritic. You have rheumatoid arthritis, chronic pain syndrome, Bursitis, shingles, hives, cataracts and ringworm. You're starting to sag, wrinkle, dry out and develop spots.

* It's your choice: learn to navigate our serpentine, Rube Goldbergian healthcare system, or just give up and die.

* Today is the first day of the end of your life.

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